My love for you was already here long before you were.
You were all that I ever wanted, I spent years waiting for you to be true.
From the moment that those two pink lines appeared, my most important job was to protect you. Even in the beginning, there wasn't a thing that I wouldn't do, for you.
The day I first heard your heart beating, it was such a relief. It became an addictive rhythm and it's still my favourite song.
For the whole time I carried you, I kept telling myself that once I had you in my arms, I would know you were safe, healthy and strong. But little did I know that the womb is the safest place you'll ever be.
I watched along as my body began to grow and warp. I felt sick alot too, but I didn't mind. It was what I had to do, to get you.
You were overdue and with every passing day, although it felt like every passing hour, bigger and bigger my belly grew.
I waddled like a penguin, so heavy in the front. Until the day my hands, feet and legs all swelled up and it was time to head to the hospital.
They admitted me that night and the doctor told me that in the morning he would help start my labour and that I'd be meeting you very soon.
I didn't sleep a wink that night. I lay there in sheer wonder about my little boy. Who would you be? What you would look like? Would you look like me?
Between all of the hospital sounds and the constant urge to pee. I can now see that, that night was just the first real night of just you and me.
The very next day, bright and early you beat those doctors to it and in a whirlwind rush, I now know as your own style you arrived in only a short few hours, one arm up, like superman.
At 11:14 on Friday the 3rd of June, I held you for the very first time. Your lungs were loud and healthy. You were 8lb 15oz of absolute perfection.
I still remember how you barely slept that day at all, you just looked around with those beautiful blue eyes, as if you were just soaking in the world. Both of us exhausted, you slept right through the night, that very first night earthside. Not me though, it was just the first night of so many that I lay wide awake, only to watch you breathing.
In the next few months, we learned just how to be us. We broke all the rules and I'm glad that we did. There was no routine, you slept only with me and from a bottle, you would feed. This was our way, it was what worked for us.
You grew like a weed. Cheeky and clever. We had so much fun as you discovered your little world, but we slept hardly ever.
Then came your first cold and I thought the world was ending. Coming to terms with the fact that I couldn't protect you from everything in this world was such a hard lesson to learn and something that I still struggle with now.
Even as I wish every time, that I could save you from every cold, scraped knee and every tear you've ever shed. You prove to me just how strong and resilient that you are.
Such pride and heartache I felt, watching you go to your first day of preschool. Proud of how brave and outgoing you were, yet heartbroken that you didn't need me there.
There is one thing I know that I can always promise you; I will always be there for you when you do need me. Even when I'm not with you, I'm only one call away. I'd move mountains to be with you if you ever should need me. And when you don't, I'm always watching from the sidelines, cheering you on.
No matter what path you take in life, you always have my love. Even when I have to get mad and pull you in line, it's with your best interest in my heart. I'm never going anywhere and you'll always know just where to find me and just how to reach me.
We might not be the perfect picture of an ideal family, but you have never been and never will be shy of love or anything else that you need.
Everything I do, every single day - it's all for you, kid.
You're the greatest love, I have ever had and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, to keep you safe, to be sure you're happy. Never forget that I'm always on your side, even when it feels like I'm not. I might not always know what's best, but I swear to you, I'll always do my best for you.
You'll make mistakes, so will I.
But I'll always be right at your side.
And if you run ahead, I will always be right behind.
I will always be there when you look back for me. You'll never be too far gone, to reach for me.
You're the most important thing to me and nothing will ever change it. I will never let you forget it.
Thank you for choosing me to be your Mum.
I will always do everything I can, to be the best one I can be.
